Welcome to ‘The “Good Enough” Parent’ website. Here you will find:
- information about the book and the author
- videos that complement the ideas in visual ways
- newsletters that you can sign up for
- a way of inviting Dr Wake to speak at your next event
Is your child a person to be understood, or a problem to be solved?
Everybody wants to be understood. This is particularly so for our children (and any other relationship that matters). We don’t have to agree with them, but they do need us to try to understand them. Dr Wake uses current ideas in child development such as attachment theory, grief and disappointment ideas, and neuroscience to help parents make sense of the strong emotions and tricky behaviours all children experience and need to deal with.
Is your child your business, or your problem?
Dr Wake presents practical and effective strategies that not only work, but that also help their development into young people who can parent themselves (also known as a “grown up”). Taking a business approach to problems allows us to remain cool, calm and connected in the face of a child who has flipped their lid. Though of course we will save our child if they are drowning, we generally want to try to support the child to work it out first, so they learn for themselves. Our love for our child is personal. Making strong emotions and tricky behaviours our business rather than our problem helps keep it so.
The event doesn’t matter, it is what happens next that matters. When we are calm let’s talk about it and fix it.
All of life is “rupture and repair”. Understanding that disappointment is a universal human experience, the question is less about how to avoid suffering, but more how do we repair the rupture so the relationship is strengthened. Helping our children learn how to get over disappointment and its associated anger (through acceptance and repair) is a key gift we can give our children in their job of growing up; for themselves, for all their future relationships, and particularly for their own children.