Unavoidable grief

Andrew Wake Newsletter, Parenting

Since my last post my mother lost her ten year battle with Alzheimers Disease.  I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their love and kind thoughts over the past month.  We truly have only one way to get through the grief of losing someone we love…together.

I thought I would repost a video I made about the stages of grief and how they relate to the important task we have of helping our children to not only become adults, but more importantly to become grown-ups.  The hope that our children would become people who don’t complain and wait for others to fix things, but ones who take responsibility and action in spite of the unwanted realities they will invariably experience in life.  Not just death, but any number of difficult unwanted realities such as failure, unfairness, loneliness, loss, not being special, and many, many others.

In summary:

  • We can deny these unwanted realities by avoidance, or distracting ourselves, or numbing ourselves, or using any number of crutches to not deal with or even acknowledge the problem.
  • Or we can worry and put all our energy into trying to reverse the realities, exhausting ourselves.
  • Or we can blame and complain, acknowledging but never accepting the realities, and finding a scapegoat who can be focused as the cause of the suffering, but never getting over the suffering.
  • Or we can be sad, and through sadness come to
  • Acceptance…it is what it is.

The video about grief can be found here.