Three ways to hate: chapter 2 (4/5), page 55-60

Andrew Wake Newsletter, Parenting

  There are broadly three ways to deal with disappointment and the emotions it creates.  Most people at different times use all three, but each person tends to have their own particular pattern…and some patterns are more helpful than others. As a parent, helping our child learn how to hate well (confident to act on anger or get over it) …

Disappointment and hate: chapter 2 (3/5), page 50-55

Andrew Wake Newsletter, Parenting

  Continuing on from the idea of missing out generally, this video looks specifically at disappointment and anger-hate. This is often the poison within relationships, and an impediment to change.  How to tolerate the strong emotions that stem from disappointment, and how to help your child accept and repair the ruptures that it causes will be an ongoing theme throughout …

Grief and missing out: chapter 2 (2/5), page 42-50

Andrew Wake Newsletter, Parenting

  Missing out can be thought of as losing a wish, and can be thought of from a grief perspective. In this video I look at the stages of grief and how they may apply to your child’s development, and help explain some of their emotions and behaviours Andrew The link to the video is here  

Growing Up: chapter 2 (1/5), page 35-41

Andrew Wake Newsletter, Parenting

  In the chapter one videos we looked at attachment and your child’s need to feel belonging and “get enough”. In the chapter two videos we will be looking at their need to “miss out enough”.  I find that this is more typically the source of difficulty for children I work with.  Most kids get enough, they are just struggling …

Only mammals can be kind

Andrew Wake Newsletter, Parenting

Hi to all Thanks for the feedback regarding the videos and last weeks newsletter about being kind rather than nice. It seemed to have struck a chord for some. I presented a day seminar at Albury High School for 94 teachers on Tuesday, and it struck me as I was talking about being kind rather than being nice that there …

Nice kids finish last

Andrew Wake Newsletter, Parenting

Michael (not his real name) was a boy in grade five who was worried about his friends.  At a school camp three months previously some things had happened that had left him feeling on the outer of his group.  As exclusion and abandonment are our greatest fears, I was not surprised to hear that he had become increasingly sad, was …

The good enough friend part 4 – Get the grade right

Andrew Wake Newsletter, Parenting

Here is part 4 of the series on good enough friendships. When entering a relationship, it is vital to prepare yourself first by being accepting of everyone’s freedom to minimise the “shoulds” and expectations, and thus decrease possible disappointment.  If you want a connection with someone, it is important to initiate and not wait passively and dependently for the other. …